Respect: Demanded or Earned?

Have you found yourself, as a parent demanding respect from people in your home? Why arent they kinder? Why do they walk out on me? Why do they speak when I am speaking? Have you found yourself repeating words like

“How dare you?”,

“Do you have no fear?”,

Some of these could be markers that one is beginning to demand respect. Is there anything wrong with demanding for respect? Absolutely not! But the question we have to ask ourselves is, Do we really need to ‘demand’ this from people we care about and who care about us? Should they not already respect us without our needing to howl down the roof?


Results are most times as a result of our actions/inactions. Life revolves around the principles of cause and effect. Are you doing everything you need to do as a father or as a mother? Are you a respectful and active participant in your children’s life and they still do not respect you? I highly doubt this is possible.

Respect in itself could be given out of fear or out of love. To earn the good kind of respect from our family and loved ones, atleast 90% of our actions has to be respectful and deserving of respect. You have to remind yourself that everytime you speak,act and ask questions respectfully,you are gaining ‘respect points’.  Here are a few tips for parents to earn the respect of their kids and wards.

1. Say ‘Please’ and ‘thank you’: Our lives as parents will be one of the most influential books our kids will every read. It is important that in the making of this book,we model things we want these kids to be and do. Ask for things nicely even if its something as simple as getting you a glass of water. By asking nicely,you have modeled why it is important for your kids to do the same.

2. Show that you are reliable and truthful: If you say you are going to be there,be there. If you say you are going to do it,do it. If you don’t mean it,don’t say it. Some of these are words to live by.

3. Be available: Its going to be hard to take you seriously or comprehend the concept of respect if the parent is rarely present. Not just physically,but also mentally and emotionally. Know when to drop the work that was brought home and just pay attention to a senseless conversation from a 12 year old boy who is seeking for parental approval.

So I leave you with just a thought.

“Should I demand respect from my family or should I earn it?”

If you come to our conclusion that respect should also be earned at home,then implement our 3 tips for success!

May God bless your home.


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